It’s late in the afternoon and the sun is drowning in the horizon creating a beautiful view before the twilight beckons the stars. I cannot hear anything, neither footstep nor noise from kids playing outside. There was none. I am alone and the silence is deafening. I can’t figure it out but there is something that makes me uncomfortable.
All I can see is the aged building in front of me. Years past are shown in its rusty-ish faded paint. I look at it closely, remembering where and when I saw it. Looking at its structure, I know deep inside me…the building is familiar but I cannot tell how?
I proceed to an elevator right next to its frontdoor. As I enter, it automatically close and goes to sixth-floor. I am waiting patiently as it delivers me to a floor where I assumed I suppose to. Like what I mention before, the place is familiar but I still feel vague. When I arrived, I hurriedly step out.
The sunset is merely prelude to the dawn yet its majesty hang some argent disc casting brilliant rays of light onto the hallway. I gaze to my left; there I see a small sink made in cement. It is simple and rugged, whoever made it seems did not pay too much time building it. Someone may have used it recently because the faucet is not properly closed. Few steps away from the sink is a comfort room aligned to the elevator. I don’t bother going in it because in the back of my mind I’ve been there and I am certain that there is a gigantic mirror inside of it.
For the meantime, I choose to march to the left side of the hallway. I surpassed through an abandoned gigantic hall. It’s gloomy inside, I can see the thick dusts covering its floor, windows made of glass are broken and chairs are puzzled up. I wanted to look further but I cannot control myself no matter how hard I tried.
Then I saw enormous size of portrait with a medium shot of a girl. At this time, my body stopped walking and I had a time to look closely to the portrait. I saw a girl wearing a simple yet elegant black dress hat designed with a beautiful sheer horsehair brim and sheer chiffon. Her hat covering her stylish curly hair which added elegance to her cheery face. Her eyes speak contentment and her happiness lifts her shoulder a bit while her collarbone curved the bliss within her heart. The girl in the picture is familiar, perhaps a well known personality or someone I met along the way.
All of a sudden the elevator ringed which means someone is coming. My heart shudder and I don’t know what am I supposed to do. Meanwhile, my body moved on its own accord. I run as fast as I can. I snap my finger and whisper to myself, “I knew it, I know what’s gonna happen”. Before I able to hide myself, the girl arrived, it was the girl in the portrait. I looked at her as she gracefully walk and passed by me. With innocent look in her face, she stopped in the portrait……….. and tadaaaa! Before I know it, I move into her body and now facing the portrait. I glance in my left side expecting that I will see the ‘real me’ unfortunately there is no one but me and deafening silence.
Times have passed and I have to go home. I hid myself inside the comfort room near the elevator waiting for the ‘real me’ to come. I have to go back to my own body. I waited for her and not that long she arrived and stared in a portrait once again and that is the time we changed our body.
In an instant, I’ve been in Woods. As the Sunset finally drained out of the sky overhead, sheathing the woods in shadow, the moon shines through a lattice of leaves, patchy sky and stars seen in glimpses through the tree breaks.
As I chase my way going home, I saw a long ladder that has a Kubo (a type of stilt house indigenous to most of the lowland cultures of the Philippines) on the top. I got a feeling that I have to clamber to it so I can go home. I am really having hard time going up and getting up a flight because all of a sudden I am carrying a child on my back. I have been stumbled many times and my shin had bruises. But still, I keep on holding on and all I care about is the safety of the kid I am with. Then a woman from the kubo glanced to us and helps us stand. She is uttering something, though I cannot hear her, it seems that she is advising us to take an alternative path. I just saw myself smiling back at her and did not pursue climbing the stairs. Instead I accompany the kid and took her to the long road which is quiet far from the kubo. I glimpse to the kid and she is holding my hand. I cannot see her face but I feel that she is smiling back at me.
The scenario of the building, the portrait, and the kubo kept on happening over and over again. It makes me dizzy, uneasy and wanted to puke. But still, I hang on and let myself dragged as the story flow.
At this point, the next scene changed, at the time I am looking at the portrait. With the other girl’s body I chose to enter the gigantic hall. The dusty floor gives me cough. In the right side, there is a small room and group men seems having a serious small talk. So serious and they did not sense that I am in the hall. My body immediately runs as fast as it can. It makes my heart beats very fast as if it will explode anytime soon. No one is after me but I have a feeling that I have to secrete myself. My eyes opened widely, and it felt as if I had completely lost control over my body. Then I saw box and I hid myself in it. I stayed there still catching my breath.
Next scene is in the comfort room, I am facing a life size mirror. It’s too bright inside and all I can see is myself with the ‘real me’. I keep on saying something I cannot fathom. I wanted to scream which I did however, there is no sound coming out from my mouth. I screamed with my whole body. My eyes are wide in horror, my mouth was rigid and open and fists clenched with blanched knuckles like nails digging into the palms of my hand. The scream seemed gonna tore up the great shard of mirror but still I heard no sound even my tonsil felt sore.
I stepped outside the comfort room and to my surprise there is a girl washing the dishes in the rugged sink. We had a small talk such as she wanted to be a boss, and how she slowly looses her confidence. I even encouraged her not to quit with her dreams and the likes. The girl seems familiar to me but I cannot remember her face.
Lastly, I have been in an abandoned road with a group of people I am familiar with. People that I can finally recognized. Out of a hurry, we started to walk and a group of dogs was running towards our way. And because this scene was also familiar to me, I hurriedly asked them to go up in the gutter nearby. And so we did and the dogs weren’t able to harm us. They just passed through us with fiery eyes. Though covered with fear and still catching our breath, we still managed to laugh. We laugh our lungs out.
As the cold wind touches my face, I regained my consciousness. My eyes still closed and still feel the pounding of my heart.
As I glance to my phone near me the time is 16:59, I gasped and cold sweats starts to form in my forehead. I knew for sure I had this dream before and woke up at the same time.
Strange, isnt it?
For tagalog version, please click the link : Paulit-ulit na Panaginip